INTO THE WOODS, INTO THE HOUSE

We went in to the woods to find this outpost.  There was a cat in a trap.  Reminded Kali of his pet.  Kali has bad luck with pets.   We freed the the cat.  The cat was happy and led us into the woods.  This ugly brutish thug and a pack of dogs came bursting from the brush.  Waffle tried to reason, but they were having nothing of it.  Kali tried to reason.  “Let’s do this hand to hand.  You and me.  No weapons.”  Stubborn little f$#%.  Game on!  Using trusty ranseur, managed several sweep-the-leg moves.  Dropped it like a bad habit.  Then little green buddy jumped on the thug to finish it off.  For some reason Firfus and the other Ponies decided to let it go.  Maybe it was the way the thug whined when little buddy and I were kicking its a$$.  Further into the woods.  Big uglier thug burst from woods.  Not about to reason.  Wanted to fight.  No problem.  “Come get some!”  We won.  Kali got a sweet new ogre hook.  Not the prettiest of weaponry, but it works like a charm.  Firfus says it’s magic, so it must be.  We found a house.  Kali not like something about the porch.  Neither did little buddy.  We jumped down and tried to warn the others.  They never listen.  Trapped as suspected.  We went in.  There was a nice couch made of pelts and human skin.  Kali need one like this one day.  Don’t remember who it was, but somebody fell through the floor in front of the couch.  Kali to the rescue . . . again.  Took a flying leap.  Didn’t see the spikes.  Damn.  In the basement there was a monster fly trap.  We did what Dangerous Ponies do . . . secured the area.  Nasty plant guts on the ceiling.  Kali don’t feel so good.