3/7/14 Jerky Lovin’ ‘Lectric Lizards & the Demon Queen
Dicking around these caves is getting old. Kali want battle. We found a den of lighting-pooping lizards. They get all shocky when nervous, but they really like jerky (and noses). In true D-Pony form, we back-doored into the boss’ chamber before slugging through the ranks. It was a super hot demon chick. Kali fell under her spell and didn’t know who was friend or foe. Waffle says Kali needs a wisdom helmet for damage control. Demon chick got away.
3/20/14 Burning Barrels
We started searching the fort and came up some stairs. Blacktooth peaked out and saw a squadron of ogres charging from down the hall. They tossed a barrel at us . . . which exploded into flame. One of the big stupid thugs got a really lucky hit on Kali. Firfus to the rescue. He whipped up a wind stronger than a half-orc fart and put the fire out. We got away. Not one of our more stellar moments.
4/3/14 Ogre Head on a Spike
We went back to the caves and rested. Kali back in business. Pride smarting from the previous debacle. Kicked a door open to the commander’s quarters. Lot’s of ogres, and a caster. Kali’s daredevil boots flash as he bolts past the ogre blocking the door. On to the caster. Wailing at the head until it popped off and stuck to his morning star. Kali keeps the head, dousing it in whisky. Should make for a funny surprise when charging a group of these dumb-ass ogres. Finally, some loot. Kali gets an armor ring.
4/17/14 Ranger Down / TCB Big Kill
More searching the fort. D-Ponies found a room with maps and a bunch of hanging rangers. Instead of waiting for Kali to kick the double doors down across the hall, Waffle basically knocks and almost gets knocked out by the biggest, baddest barbarian ogre we’ve come across to date. One of the rangers bit the dust. After a round or two of fumbling in the confusion, Kali backs up and charges – lesson to enemies no matter how big. Toe to toe with a pissed off half-orc barbarian will end up badly for you. Another whiskey doused ogre head in the bag.