Dagmar addresses me by name. My given name. What? How? Who is this guy? He asked me if I still wanted those “defensive items”, but after that? No thanks bruh. That’s not cool.

Taki’s still out cold. I try to wake him, no dice. It’s go time, so I pick him up, fireman-style. Before we go though, we get what we really came for – Dagmar gives HC an invitation. HC wants to open it immediately, but I want to get out, and I’m not the only one.

We leave, I have sweep, still carrying Taki. And keeping with the whole creepy thing, the door we came out of is different than one we went in. Fuck this place, man. Thankfully, the hallway’s empty. It’s not until we’re at the 22^nd floor that we’re stopped by a group of guards. Ebon flashes his “agent tattoo”, and gets them to stand down. Not only that, but he gets them to radio ahead and make sure our exit is smooth. Them changeable tattoos are pretty damn handy.

Outside OPP, we go back to van. It’s time to go shopping – HC needs some shoulder holsters for his sissy guns, so I drive us to Peace Surplus at the end of S. Carrollton. Man, I love this place so much I practically have to put on a bib to catch the drool. It even has an has indoor firing range for testing.

And if I didn’t like this place enough, man I love it more now, but it’s not because of anything they did. See, there was this cute young thing that seemed to be into HC, I have no idea why. Well, while she was helping him put on / adjust his new shoulder holsters, HC (rolled a 1) peed himself, ripped his pants and farted in front of her.

I laughed SO FUCKING HARD I almost pissed myself. [  ] close. She ran off in one direction, he in another, and I fell to the goddamn floor. Seriously I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stand.

So after I recover, it’s on to the business at hand for the rest of us. The invite was for all of us for a super fancy event Uptown tonight. Ebon talked me into (rolled a nat 20) buying a formal white NOPD outfit. With a half cape. He’s a bit fancy, so I’ll just have to trust his judgement. It’s a bit tight on me, but apparently that’s “in” or something. Since I can’t really hide any weapons, and apparently battleaxes are fashion no-nos, I also get a gold saber w/ pearl inlay as a weapon. It’s the prettiest “weapon” I’ve ever had – and while it reminds me a bit of HC’s fancy guns, it’s better than nothing.

Back in the van, HC calls Vlad. Radio is nothing but static for us and him. Something’s up.

We pull up to the mansion on St. Charles for the party, and armed valets take car. As if I didn’t feel offput by this outfit, I certainly feel moreso now. There’s a big wrought iron fence surrounding the property with a fancy gate that has a huge guy on each side of it checking invites. HC gives one his invite, and the guard says “Welcome, Mr. Cheeto.”

WAT.

HC’s name is Cheeto? Are you kidding me? The kid had been gaining points with me, but he just lost a few. I know (hope) he didn’t name himself, but goddamn is that dumb. Or, his parents are goddamn idiots – I think his brother’s name was Nougat or Skittles or Orangelo or something like that. Goddamn hippie parents.

Whatever. We go in, the front lawn’s all decked out, X-Mas in oaks style. Inside, we meet Tuan’s nephew, Bien Phung. He says there’s a weapons cache in the basement, which is weird. Not many basements here, except of course at that hospital we went to recently. Taki just walks to center of dancefloor where the Mayor and wife are dancing. He just cuts right in (rolls 20). Apparently he and the Mayor have a history. Either way, security comes and we now have a bona fide diversion.

We go down to an elevator while Taki is being detained/distracting. The elevator doors close, but at last moment a hand pops in. The door opens, and two guards w/ Taki come in. Of course.

After a few moments, a guard looks at us and ask us where we’re going. Ebon just up and hits one with electrical bolt. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, I crush one in the face. Now both unconscious, they let go of Taki. Bien takes out a nifty tri-point stiletto and stabs one repeatedly. I drop to a knee and throat punch the other, collapsing his trachea and killing him.

The elevator door open to a hallway. Bien checks a map, and we follow him. We head to some stairs, bringing the bodies with us. The air is different here – it feels cold and damp. The stairs lead to a platform with a traincar in front. We get in, and the door closes and ominously bolts. This train doesn’t waste any time – we accelerate and descend so fast that my ears keep popping.

In a short-ish amount of time, the train slows to stop and the doors open to what looks like a warehouse with many shipping containers. There are red alert lights circling and sirens wailing. Great. That’s always a good sign. I decide to hide the bodies, and throw Mr. FlatTrachea on top of a container, landing with a meaty thud.

The container thumps back. Shit shit shit.

HC proceeds to hack into the system and unlock the containers. All of them. Taki opens one, then quickly closes it. Like, “Oh shit” fast. HC relocks them just before there’s a giant thud on Taki’s door. These containers need to stay closed. After checking the second body for anything of value, I throw it on top of another container.

We need to get out of here, pronto, but not until we get what we came for – the weapons cache! I grab 2 Desert Eagle .50s (4DAM), 10 full 8 round clips, and an 12 gauge tactical shoddy (6DAM) w/ 12round circular magazine.

clank! clank! clank!

Almost on queue, something metallic is dragging between two crates. About 20-30ft away and closing staggers somebody wearing an ill fitting biz suit. He’s limping, dragging something behind him. Greeeeeaaaat. I tell him (let’s face it, it) to stop, but it keeps approaching, dragging a fire axe. Not having much choice, I lodge a .50cal round into its chest, knock it down. I yell at everyone to grab whatever weapons/munitions they can and get in the goddamn traincar, keeping eyes and gun on the humanoid. Ebon cuts me a break and force lightninged his head off. I just wasn’t comfortable taking my eyes off it, like I had a bad feeling it was going to get back up. Who knows, maybe it already did?

HC actually does a smart thing and grabs the ID off the body. The container that “thumped back” at Taki creaks. Time to GTFO. We turn to the train, and of course, 5 “people” walk/shuffle towards us from around train. And, there are two on top the train.

I draw a bead on the closest one, and the .50cal tears apart its head and the body crumples.

meta: we roll initiative. order: HC, Taki, Ebon, me, monsters.