So, this guy, Thornton, Thornton Blizzard, sez he will give me some gold if I do him a little favor. Some chum of his got kilt all horrible like and he sez he’s set up a charity fund for the guy’s widdoe and kids. Sez if I just go to the gambling hall and pick up the donations he’ll give me a cut. I like gold. I like gambling too. So I sez, I’m a nice guy, I’ll do it for him. He can’t do it for some reason so he waits up the street. Weird dood, that Thornton Blizzard but, whatever.
At the Silver Disk Gambling Hall I haggled with the dumdum cashier over the personal vault number – three, three, uh…, one. That was it! He sez the Silver Disk ain’t got no personal vault storage. I was getting a little agitated. I’ve heard I scare normal folk when I’m agitated. The owner shows up with his thugs (They were big, but I could take ’em.) and sez I must be at the wrong gambling hall. I sez there’s another one? I’m about to blow my lid when he offers me a voucher. Gold. A pretty good pile of it, too. Cool. Let’s play. And more importantly, let’s drink. Darts! I can do that. No numbers or ledders to confuse me. They do that on purpose, you know.
Anyways, I won a bit o’ gold and made some nu chums that had vouchers too. They sez they’ve been going under the Torch hill. There’s tunnels and stuff in there. Sez they’re trying to figger out why the torch went out and find some guy who’s probably dead. Sez they’ve got a friend who was kilt all horrible like down there. (Wonder if it’s the same guy ol’ Thornton sez got kilt?) Sez they’d like some help in the form of my awesome physique and my hammer, Maxwell. If there’s one thing I like more than drinkin’ and gamblin’, it’s killin’ evil! I’m in! Besides, their Aasimar cleric lady is kinda cute. Though, she’s probably all chaste and god-fearin’ and no sexin’. Maybe the elf dood with the weird talk and the funny hat? He ain’t bad lookin’. Might get me some tail there. Cuz like killin’ evil, sexin’ is pretty fun too.
Next, we go see a priest (I think. I don’t trust those man-made gods these local folks got.) and he puts some conjury on us to make us breath like fishes. There’s this young gal there. Knows my nu chums. Seems a little panicky. Would probably get herself kilt if she came with us. Leave her behind and then head under the hill. In this great big underground room down there we ran into and kilt these creepy, four-armed, mummy skeleton doods. I took a couple of hits – scratches really – but once I got my Maxwell warmed up, he made short work of ’em. We found this metal hallway behind an illusion and a round doorway. Thanks to my nu pal, the tin bard dood and his keen eyes, he sez to us, get out before gettin’ shocked by broke ‘lectrics in the walls. I could take it. I play with that stuff all the time. My nu chums will see soon enough. I’m more than just a pretty face, slammin’ physique, and big ol’ hammer (well, two actually… *GRIN*).
We wandered in further and after some trouble with another round door, found a room with a glass table and lots of blinky lights on the walls. The tin bard seems to know what he’s doing, looks at all the flashy panels in there, and then gets all frisky with this purple ‘lectric pillar. An illusion pops up on the table! The others sez it’s a map of the area. Dang, that’ll be handy!