I report for duty as ordered and meet the rest of my new unit: Pen Islarg (Bill) the cleric, Tmolus (Chris) and Xaphs (Heather) our full rogues, Briff Brilliams (Curry) the warlock, and there’s one more but he’s in the brig for some reason.
We’re up early, as per usual, still encamped in the Ruins of Sabach. Across the valley we can see the Hanging Mountain – the mountain floats upside down above the Holy City of Ashur. It’s quite a sight, one that doesn’t get old. All of a sudden, there seems to be a sort of avalanche on the mountain, and then a great shaking of the ground that can be felt even here as the mountain falls back to the ground and turns the Holy City of Ashur to the Ruins of Ashur. Most people are confused as to what’s happening, but we saw it and have to admit we’re just about as confused.
We don’t have time to react or process what’s happened, as we’re called into the barracks by our new commander, Sgt. Zayno. We quickly drop into formation for inspection. Zayno is definitely a career man: he’s missing the top of his right ear and an ugly scar that runs down to his jawline. He runs a gear check, and I present my chit for longbow and rapier. He seems to be ignoring what’s happened to Sabach as he orders us to our morning exercises, followed by clean up. We’re to report to his tent an hour later.
Our other tasks completed (maybe ignoring what’s happening/happened is some sort of test of discipline?), we show up outside his tent and he promptly leaves. We stand at attention for an hour, awaiting his return. When he finally comes out, he beckons us inside. Briff is promoted to corporal and appointed our unit’s leader. He’s definitely drank a lot of the camo kool-aid and is the most gung-ho about military duty, so he’s the most logical appointee.
Sarge gives us a secret/undercover mission: a spy has apparently been captured, and is in the brig. The brass doesn’t know there’s a spy – only Intel (our parent division) has this insight. Apparently they were caught something dumb – had they been caught spying they certainly wouldn’t be where they are. We are to discover and eliminate the target, and leave no evidence of our involvement/mission.
We work up a rough plan: Pen and Tmolus will get drunk (but Ttmolus will be faking), get disorderly, and get arrested. Xaphs, Briff, and I will scope out the brig from the exterior.
*This is the part where I missed things because Indy was throwing up*
There are three buildings to the compound that is the brig, and we see stairs leading both up and down, the there are apparently also sub-levels. We see four guards posted at stair’s base and two more at double-doored entrance to the brig. As we’re walking around, three uniformed guards (all corporals, outranking Xaphs and I) approach and question us. We have some sort of chit that would allow us the be there, but they (appropriately) press. Briff telepathically asks for advice as to what to say, and we make some suggestions – mostly along the lines that we’re new to the area and are familiarizing ourselves with our new surroundings. You know – all for the benefit of Subartu, etc.
It’s good material, but Cpl. Briff kinda bumbles it. And by kinda I mean he’s a terrible speaker under pressure, apparently. I purposefully look aghast at how he’s handling this and stage whisper to Xaphs “I can’t believe this guy is in charge of us!” We hear them similarly “whisper” something about “Where they get these guys???” Cpl. Briff poorly fake cries, and everyone just wants this to be over. Also, I’m pretty sure they just referred to him as “Corporal Snowflake” and have a hard time stifling a laugh.
Thankfully that’s all over, and we continue scoping out the structures. I notice around back that the basement in front doesn’t line up with the back? I’m convinced that the “basement” out front is false, a subterfuge. Cpl.
Snowflake Briff tries to play off his terrible performance by saying the other guy was in his head, but I don’t believe it for a moment. We see archer holes, but no other doors.
We reconvene with Pen and Tmolus and relay the info we’ve learned. Pen is already well into his “cover”, yelling a lot. Cpl. Briff plays his part better this time, and has the two of them arrested for insubordination and drunk & disorderly. In the process of his arrest, Pen is knocked out.
The three of us keep up our normal routine while the other two are locked up. After a day or so, the return and we all report to Sarge. They were able to suss out the likely spy, and Pen was able to dispatch her through fire and accusations of witchcraft.
Sarge is satisfied, and sends a report up the ladder. Mission accomplished.
Session Date: 04/24/2017
Title Source: Dr. John – Iko Iko