Sgt. Zayno makes it our responsibility to get the newbie in line. His name is … does it mater? He’s the newbie, so his name is Private Newbie. He’s apparently a gifted lutist.

Some quick catch-up, since its been a bit. We were ordered to reinforce an army laying siege to the capital of Urartu. Tmolus went through the forests to take out some enemies, all stealthy-like like. Like he do. Coincidentally, my mission was to support an assassin’s mission to disrupt the enemy – as it turns out, it was Tmolus. I had his back from afar and took down commanders as he was sneaking around camps up close, doing similar things. Have to say, we make a pretty good pairing. Thankfully, I got to hermit a bit – get some alone time while on mission. Kinda re-center a bit – which is good. It gave me time to work on a new technique I’d been mulling around. I think I’ll call it Hail of Thorns™.

Upon my return, I learned that Pen had invented “trucknuts” and then invented the codpeice to hang the nuts from. He … he has issues. And I have a feeling they’re only going to get worse.

And, back to the now. We’ve been on the road for close to two weeks now. Two rainy weeks. We’re learning that the army’s methods for estimating time/distance/troop strength are more of an exact art than observation and data based. We also learn that our ranks are indeed rife with spies. It’s mostly our duty to protect the rear by taking out traitors.

Our current stretch has found us in the forest, and it’s been raining for three days straight. Raining enough that two flash floods have come through that took out a fair amount of supplies. Couple that with the natural dwindling of supplies, and morale seems to be pretty low. Well, low for most groups – I’ve been foraging, so my unit is not hungry. Plus, I can get a fire going at night even with wet wood – something that even the boisterous cleric of the death god (Pen) dare not mock. It’s drizzling now, but there’s a downpour imminent – we’re in for a long cold wet night. Sgt. Zayno shows up, knowing we’ll have a good fire, and hunkers down with us. He has word about Pen – he’d fallen and injured himself bad enough to warrant a stay with medical. A runaway horse spooked him, and he fall-down-go-boom. Apparently he was taken from medical?

Sarge asks how we are, and reports that other units are not doing so well. Do I detect the faintest sense of pride? While we’re eating well and having a fire every night (you’re wecome), the other units are suffering from trench rot, low morale, etc. And in fact, he has another mission for us. It’s completely off the books, and he will disavow the very orders he’s giving us if we’re discovered. He knows full well that war is hell, and a certain amount of ill behavior is to be expected. But, when troops get too far out of line, it affects discipline. The Captain knows there’s a rogue unit taking the opportunity to plunder while on our march. Not “requisitioning” as normal – taking. We’re now asked to “chastise” them. According to reports, these abusers have an insignia of sorts – a skull (Punisher-like) scarred onto their forearm.

In fact, Briff has seen them. He’s seen at least one lieutenant, three sergeants, a number of corporals, and a slew of privates. Roughly thirty to forty in total.

Tmolus and I investigate around. They have a notorious reputation – badasses. Bullies, even – they’re known for messing with other units. It also looks like they’ve taken shelter in a series of caves, two ravines over. And like us, they are hardened vets. This won’t be easy. Although, it would seem that we have a new advantage – apparently Briff can change his appearance. From this, we develop a rudimentary plan: I track the Sfardi members of this unit, show where they lead to Tmolus and Briff, and watch them impersonate and draw out a few true members at a time. We take those out, rinse, and repeat. We also want to make sure they can’t yell for help, so death will need to be quick. And just to make sure they get the message, also cut an X through their scar marker, rubbing dirt/charcoal into the wound. Also, we take their tongue.

After picking up on their tracks, I lead us across some difficult terrain, since we’re in a forest, we get to proceed at a normal pace. It’s raining and raining and muddy, but this doesn’t deter us. We sneak through a camp on way with ease, and come to the ravine where we believe they are. There’s even a clearing in front of their supposed caves. We find a spot we like, and I climb a suitable tree for a better overview. We’re far enough away from the caves that hopefully between swift kills and the rain, that anyone still in the caves will not hear any screams. We detect that seven are coming through, two in chains. Not sure what’s in store for those in chains, but it can’t be good.

(By the way, SCAT isn’t army-wide, but specops. We have our own “dialect”)

Briff summons some dancing lights in the form of a person somehow, and throws voice his voice to the area of the shape. He make the shape act drunken, cursing loudly and vowing revenge. It works – they notice, and all stop and crouch down. One is clearly the leader – he talks (whispers) and two others peel off with him towards the illusion, while the other two knock out and stay with the prisoners.

Even though we have the element of surprise, Tmolus throws a dagger and misses. I plant an arrow through the neck of one (Nat20!) with my Hail of Thorns, tagging him to a tree and bursting damage to the other. I quickly knock a second arrow and loose it on the other combatant (Horde Breaker) and hit him, but Robin puts an arrow through his eye and silences him.

Two quietly down, three to go.

The other three start returning. I can’t who is in charge, but can see that one is on Tmolus, so I plant an arrow in him and then duck back behind the tree. When I next look, I can see two running through the clearing, towards the caves. I hit one (Nat20!) with Hail of Thorns and he stumbles. My second arrow goes aimlessly into the grass. The other yells, and three men come out. Tmolus finishes puts one down, and Robin hits one of the runners with arrow. An odd crown of iron appears on his head, and he turns and chases the one running towards cave. I don’t how Robin “turned” him, but he tackles closes and tackles the guy, and starts stabbing him. (We’ll have sneak attack against guy getting stabbed.)

Session Date: 06/05/17
Title Source: Megadeth – Holy Wars … The Punishment Due

Question from the DM: Reveal something about 0ne other character I’ve learned. I flipped a “coin” which broke in twain, and one of the pieces landed standing up, so I did both: Cpl Xaphs Robin made a hard decision leading us to our current dungeon crawl that outwardly I had to decry due to current orders, but inwardly very much wanted to do, so am glad she made the call. As for Tmolus: I respect his sneak to the point of not really trusting him.

We’re still inn the goblin room, searching for hidden doors and finding none. Heading back, we see an offshoot passage to the South, which dead-ends after 10′ or so. Or, so we thought – Tmolus finds a trapdoor in the ceiling.

He listens for a bit and relays what he hears – it was the Captain talking about supply lines. That’s pretty “meh”, but I have to admit that we could hear that is an issue. What if others know of this place? It’s a potential security concern. Also … how would we explain our discovery?

Back in the main room, I re-examine the tracks. They’re a bit old (makes me feel a bit better about the security issue), and we head though the North-West door. Pen does his light trick again, revealing a gate with iron bars ahead. Pen (being Pen) stubs his toe kicking said iron gate. Because of course. And you know this is going to slow him down (it does –  5ft/move). Tmolus gets the gate open, and thankfully I see a tripwire attached to what look like a bunch of stabby, cutty knives. We are all extra careful to go over it (even Pen), and manage to avoid a bladed death. For now.

I resume my ranger-ly duties and take point. I notice something in passageway, about 50′ ahead. The passageway is collapsed from one side, and there’s a lot of rubble to climb over. I lead our unit on the best path, and once on the other side I still see footprints. After bit, I find a secret door in the stone wall, and we open it.

It opens to a hallway leading left and right. The footprints go up a set of stairs, part of which are oiled. Cpl. Robin voluntells me to the top, to scout. There’s a glimmer of light up there, and the sounds of clanking chains. I stealth my way up, which ends in a semi-circular landing. There’s a slot at eye height, so I look in. It looks like a torture chamber, and I’m about to head back when I hear a panicky voice. They’re explaining that they don’t belong there, that they need to get back to their unit – and it sounds like they legitimately believe it. In fact – it’s Briff Brilliams!

I look a little more carefully around me, and notice a latch and hinges – the hemisphere itself opens up. Briff happens to throw his voice to make it sound like it’s a ghost in the “iron maiden” – which is exactly where I am. As a guard heads over to investigate, Pen, now right behind me, shakes the door and in a terrible and booming voice shouts

“TREMBLE BEFORE ME MORTALS!”

The guard falls back, frightened, but unfortunately sees us.

I roll back behind Pen as a guard charges to us, now exposed. He runs past, but not knowing about the partially oiled steps, tumbles down the stairs. Tmolus sneaks around me to get to the room as I head down to check on Cpl. Robin and the guard, avoiding teeth, oil, blood.

The guard is laying on the floor, motionless, a crumpled mass of man. I try (use inspiration) to resuscitate him – he is a member of our army after all – but it’s no use. Based on the angle his neck is turned, he won’t be walking this off.

*META-ish*
Also, the SCRAP communication method is now known as:
SCAT – Subtle Cricket Audio-communication Technique

When I get back up, I see the other guard has been killed. Cpl. Robin orders Briff to be re-shackled to the torturing post. Since he’s already visibly beaten and is chained to a post, his story will be that they deserted. Or maybe they didn’t – how could he know? He’s chained to a torture post. Either way, he’ll say that they left through an apparent secret passage through the false iron maiden.

We roll the other one down stairs – making it look like they both tumbled down the stairs to their death – the steps are partially oiled, after all.

We trace our path back, re-setting traps as we go. Now back in the main room, we head down the Southeast path. It  winds for about 100ft, then exits to a ravine at the bottom of the hill. There’s no gate, but it’s masked well by brush and overgrowth. It’s a quiet night outside, and we return to camp.

When we get back to our barracks, there’s a seated figure by a campfire. It’s Sgt. Zayno. When he asks where we’ve been, I say that to strengthen our team I’ve teaching them some nighttime ranger techniques. He says that it seems that we’ve learned a lesson about keeping our team together. He informs us that Briff is in the can for being awol, and unit is moving out in morning. He gives us a chit to take to the brig and get him out – we roll out in the morning.

From the DM: LEVEL Twice! (to 4th)
In the time between this session and the next, we’ve been accompanying supply lines. There were two pitched battles, and we need to explain what happened.

Session Date: 05/22/17
Title Source: Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden

It’s been a few boring months since our last “Special Assignment”, but that all changed this morning. Sgt. Zayno wakens us, with his usual delicate method of shouting and kicking bedrolls. Sometime I really miss my hermitage. Since Cpl. Snowflake Brilliams is out on leave for a family emergency, Xaphs is promoted to corporal.

*meta*
Paul asks us all Qs, and mine is about what Loarn missed most while hermiting – I answered that it was feedback from others. But on the other hand, that was also a great benefit – I was able to explore some interesting insights uninterrupted.

Much of the inhabitants of the Ruins of Sabach have gotten their marching orders and cleared out, but we’re one of last groups. Have heard rumors that we’ve been held back to escort supply lines. That may be true, but it’s not our immediate assignment. Cpl. Xaphs has to choose 3 of us to guard the Captain’s mansion. It’s up on a hill, by the brig. Instead of selecting the three of us that are available that aren’t her, (Tmolus, Pen, and I – our last compatriot is still in the brig) we’re all going – she opts to “supervise”.

We report to the quartermaster, and show her our chits for our non-standard equipment. Looking around, we notice that all the blacksmiths and their stations are super tidy, while the quartermaster herself is a mess. Also notice that she has prosthetic to help her compensate for a deformed hand.

We each present our arms, and are asked to show basic proficiency. I am asked to shoot a target with my longbow, but am feeling a little off today, and barely hit it. Q rightfully gives me flak, but I just decide to cheekily play it off, saying that it’s not a normal combat situation – there’s no breeze, less variables, no extra challenge, etc. She laughs, but says she expects better of me next time.

Since we’ll be working overnight, we rest up during the day. But it eventually gets dark, and it’s time to work. Cpl. Xaphs and I (archers) get up on a roof to keep an eye out from above while Tmolus and Pen rotate opposite each other on the ground. Looking out beyond the mansion, we can see the remnants of the army laid out – camps, torches, etc. all lined up in crisp grids. All the fires (except torches) are out during first watch – which gives me an idea while the insects start to come out. I should have a collection of fireflies that I can keep in a pouch so that if needed, I can remove and apply their glowing ends to arrows as needed to sort of trace their path through the air. Might talk to the quartermaster about this idea – I think that very well may curry some beneficial favor.

After a bit, I see a dark figure climb out of a 3rd floor window and silently drop to ground. Using our custom SCRAP system (Standard Cricket Request/Answer Protocol) I send a simple three-word sentence ( ninja, ground, northwest) to the rest of my unit, informing them of this. I quickly tie off a rope and rappel down, while Xaphs to stays up and watches.

I hit the ground at about the same time that two others meet. Tmolus and I go full stealth-mode, and encourage Pen to make no intention to hide his position – as a sort of decoy – maybe he’ll drive the intruder to the both of we.

I notice that there’s something strange about a cellar window a few feet away – the bars are hinged with a latch. Xaphs joins us and has Pen check out window as Tmolus and I head Southwest – she thinks it was a diversion. We stealth extra hard.

Pen breaks in through the window, and gets stuck. Cpl. Xaphs is very much not happy as part of our orders were to not go inside. Despite the good possibility that the “perp” went in here, Cpl. Xaphs decides to follow the letter of the instructions and not go in. So of course Pen “falls” in.  It’s a doorless cellar/cell, with a propped-open trap door in the floor. Tmolus and I keep up sentry duty while Cpl. Xaphs tears into Pen.

Meanwhile, Tmolus and I come around corner to see 3 silhouettes along the side of a building. They’re kinda wobbling a bit – drunk? And they appear to be PEEING on the wall! Well, not wanting to take chances with what are clearly unauthorized persons on this off-limits premises, Tmolus closes and silently drops one by knifeblade. I loose and arrow and silently drop the second. Tmolus rotates and takes down the last one before he’s even aware of what has happened to his compatriots.

I have that twinge of worry that tends to come after reacting purely on instinct and training – did we make the right move? How do we explain these three bodies? After a moment I relax – we were investigating a credible threat (the ninja) and simply dealt with these intruders. We check the bodies – they are dressed in our colors, but everything is oddly unkempt. Truly sub-par for our great army. And as I take a closer look, my fears are quelled. They are clearly Sfard (my favored enemy) infiltrators. Our watch ends without further incident.

It’s on Cpl. Xaphs to not only report to Sgt. Zayno, but what to report. She glosses over the building entry, and is put in for commendation. After sleeping for a while. Sgt. Zayno comes in and asks Cpl. Xaphs if he needs to know something, she replies no. We discuss the possible return to the cellar/cell. Neither Tmolus nor I are in favor, but she orders us to go back to the cellar room. Beind under orders, we comply.

It’s night, so there will be a different group on guard duty. Tmolus suggests we observe these guards and adapt our rough plan accordingly. Their corporal has set up watch circuits that take twice as long as the ones Pen and Tmolus were doing. I can see the silhouette of someone sitting with back to chimney, head nodding in sleep. Amateurs. I’d report them for dereliction of duty if it wouldn’t also reveal our actions.

We’re able to easily get to the cellar, and descend through the trapdoor. Pen lights up coin for visibility – we’re in a 15′ x 20′ room with exits to the SE, NW, and W. The room has betting tables, stools, benches, and a bunch of long-mummified corpses. Murdered corpses. We find 34sp (8.5 ea) and a small idol in the South alcove. It’s made of clay with chips of garnet for eyes – looks like Pen’s god of death. He cuts his own arm, baptizing the statute in blood. He asks his god for information, and here is what we learn: these caves predate the town, they’re ancient. At times have been used as a retreat from armies and also a place to stage counterattacks. They’re mostly(?) abandoned and likely haunted.

Examining the floors, I see two sets of footprints in the built-up dust, both average human sized boots, one heading SE and one NW. We go to prints-less W. There’s a 5′ wide corridor that after about 10′ in, opens to the left and continues. There’s something ahead a short (~3.5′ high) door. It’s locked, but not trapped and Tmolus unlocks it, revealing a 10’x15′ room. There’s a bit of furniture in here, but sized for little people. There slashed tapestries, depicting child-sized creatures with large green heads and big ears. I’ve never seen creatures like this, but we all have heard stories describing creatures like this – stories designed to keep kids obedient. Surely, they’re not based in fact.

Right?

Pen finds a hidden drawer – Tmolus opens is, revealing a pewter bowl with 321cp (80ea). Pen thankfully carries this potentially noisy loot for the group.

Session Date: 05/08/2017
Title: Del tha Funky Homosapien – Pissin’ On Your Steps

I report for duty as ordered and meet the rest of my new unit: Pen Islarg (Bill) the cleric, Tmolus (Chris) and Xaphs (Heather) our full rogues, Briff Brilliams (Curry) the warlock, and there’s one more but he’s in the brig for some reason.

We’re up early, as per usual, still encamped in the Ruins of Sabach. Across the valley we can see the Hanging Mountain – the mountain floats upside down above the Holy City of Ashur. It’s quite a sight, one that doesn’t get old. All of a sudden, there seems to be a sort of avalanche on the mountain, and then a great shaking of the ground that can be felt even here as the mountain falls back to the ground and turns the Holy City of Ashur to the Ruins of Ashur. Most people are confused as to what’s happening, but we saw it and have to admit we’re just about as confused.

We don’t have time to react or process what’s happened, as we’re called into the barracks by our new commander, Sgt. Zayno. We quickly drop into formation for inspection. Zayno is definitely a career man: he’s missing the top of his right ear and an ugly scar that runs down to his jawline. He runs a gear check, and I present my chit for longbow and rapier. He seems to be ignoring what’s happened to Sabach as he orders us to our morning exercises, followed by clean up. We’re to report to his tent an hour later.

Our other tasks completed (maybe ignoring what’s happening/happened is some sort of test of discipline?), we show up outside his tent and he promptly leaves. We stand at attention for an hour, awaiting his return. When he finally comes out, he beckons us inside. Briff is promoted to corporal and appointed our unit’s leader. He’s definitely drank a lot of the camo kool-aid and is the most gung-ho about military duty, so he’s the most logical appointee.

Sarge gives us a secret/undercover mission: a spy has apparently been captured, and is in the brig. The brass doesn’t know there’s a spy – only Intel (our parent division) has this insight. Apparently they were caught something dumb – had they been caught spying they certainly wouldn’t be where they are. We are to discover and eliminate the target, and leave no evidence of our involvement/mission.

We work up a rough plan: Pen and Tmolus will get drunk (but Ttmolus will be faking), get disorderly, and get arrested. Xaphs, Briff, and I will scope out the brig from the exterior.

*This is the part where I missed things because Indy was throwing up*

There are three buildings to the compound that is the brig, and we see stairs leading both up and down, the there are apparently also sub-levels. We see four guards posted at stair’s base and two more at double-doored entrance to the brig. As we’re walking around, three uniformed guards (all corporals, outranking Xaphs and I) approach and question us. We have some sort of chit that would allow us the be there, but they (appropriately) press. Briff telepathically asks for advice as to what to say, and we make some suggestions – mostly along the lines that we’re new to the area and are familiarizing ourselves with our new surroundings. You know – all for the benefit of Subartu, etc.

It’s good material, but Cpl. Briff kinda bumbles it. And by kinda I mean he’s a terrible speaker under pressure, apparently. I purposefully look aghast at how he’s handling this and stage whisper to Xaphs “I can’t believe this guy is in charge of us!” We hear them similarly “whisper” something about “Where they get these guys???” Cpl. Briff poorly fake cries, and everyone just wants this to be over. Also, I’m pretty sure they just referred to him as “Corporal Snowflake” and have a hard time stifling a laugh.

Thankfully that’s all over, and we continue scoping out the structures. I notice around back that the basement in front doesn’t line up with the back? I’m convinced that the “basement” out front is false, a subterfuge. Cpl. Snowflake Briff tries to play off his terrible performance by saying the other guy was in his head, but I don’t believe it for a moment. We see archer holes, but no other doors.

We reconvene with Pen and Tmolus and relay the info we’ve learned. Pen is already well into his “cover”, yelling a lot. Cpl. Briff plays his part better this time, and has the two of them arrested for insubordination and drunk & disorderly. In the process of his arrest, Pen is knocked out.

The three of us keep up our normal routine while the other two are locked up. After a day or so, the return and we all report to Sarge. They were able to suss out the likely spy, and Pen was able to dispatch her through fire and accusations of witchcraft.

Sarge is satisfied, and sends a report up the ladder. Mission accomplished.

Session Date: 04/24/2017
Title Source: Dr. John – Iko Iko